MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS In my opinion a woman is never complete until the birth of her first child. The moment she holds her baby for the first time, she thinks of all the things she’ll teach the baby. Many mothers dream of having a baby girl, to share the secrets of “woman-hood”. A mother-daughter relationship is a special bond between mother and daughter; their bonding can start at a very early age. As children we idolized our mothers and that’s the way it’s always been, until we’ve reached our early teens.
Now our best friend becomes our enemy and we can’t stand a word she says. A mother-daughter relationship should in my opinion should be were the two have a special bond and respects each other. Firstly a mother-daughter relationship should be one where they both find a joy in spending quality time with each other and the daughter idolizes her mother . In the novel Selections from Annie John Jamaica Kincaid explains how important she felt to be with her mother. Kincaid had a very close bond with her mother.
They did almost everything together . This form of affection is very normal at this stage between a mother and her daughter. Kincaid admires her mother “when my eyes rested on my father, I didn’t think very much about the way he looked. But when my eyes rested on my mother, I found her beautiful”. When I was a child my mother and I would always fuss about me getting into her make-up kit and playing dress up in her clothing and high heels, I wanted to be just like “mommy” she was my hero in my eyes she did nothing wrong.
My father was never around he always worked late nights giving me and my mother sometime alone to bond, sometimes I wished my father would never come home because I didn’t want it end. I hated sharing my mother I wanted her all to myself! Having a mother’s affection is the greatest gift one can ever have. Infants can sense when their loved, the minute it loses the attention of its mother the baby begins to fuss until the attention is brought back upon it. A mother’s love is the most important ingredient in raising a child. The worst thing a mother can ever do is to announce that she no longer loves you.
For a child to hear these words are like the whole world as you knew it has now come to an end. Secondly a mother-daughter relationship should be bases on good communication skills, were if there is a problem the two can both talk it over without it becoming a huge argument . The one person you knew to be there for you is now letting you venture into the world alone , that’s just how Kincaid must of felt when her mother told her “ oh , no your getting too old for that” , “you cannot go around the rest of your life looking like a little me” .
Kincaid grow hatred for her mother because she can no longer be like her “mommy” she’s forced to find herself and her image some were else. For some mother-daughter relationships it’s the daughter that no longer wants to me like “mommy”. When I started my early teens I no longer wanted to be seen with my mother , or allowed her to drop me in front of the gate at school or be picked up there . I stopped talking to her about my problems because I now had a new best friend. My mother and I relationship now became lost because I felt that I was too grown to hang out with “mommy”.
Mother –daughter relationships are like roller coasters, one minute everything is going smooth and then the course changes and the ride gets a little bumpy and you’re agreeing again. In some homes the only time and way mothers and daughters speak is if their screaming down each other’s throats, this is never healthy for any relationships. Furthermore a mother-daughter relationship should also be bases out love and respect, There’s a saying “how can you respect someone if you can’t even respect yourself”.
Every human being wants the same thing they would like to be respected and loved. Kincaid’s mother spent years “drumming her”, teaching her how to behave around young men, but how could she train Kincaid into something she’s not. Even though Kincaid has hatred for her mother she’s still was watching and catching the bad habits of her mother. A mother will never gain respect from her daughter if she doesn’t learn how to speak with her. How can a mother refer to her daughter as a “slut”! When she’s acting the very same way.
Kincaid mother said “just to see me had caused her to feel shame”, has it ever acquired to her that maybe her daughter may feel the very same way as she conducts herself in a shameful manner? A mother shouldn’t be instructing her daughter to do things that she’s not willing to do or change, sometimes as mothers we have to admit to our wrong doings and make thing right to set an example for our kids. “Like father like son, like mother like daughter”, children are watching everything their parents does even through sometimes we don’t admit to it.
Even though Kincaid didn’t really call her mother a “slut” in words she simply said “like mother like daughter. In my opinion a mother should always know how to respectfully approach her daughter about any situation because if there is no respect why bother talking. In conclusion the one thing that can end bond between mother-daughter relationships is lack of communication and respect for each other. Most mothers and sometimes daughters believe that their relationship can never improve, but in my option with a little effort the bond can be mended again.
It doesn’t matter whether they fight physically or mentally, what matters is that they begin working toward a healthier and more loving mother-daughter relationship. “I wanted to go over and put my arms around her and beg forgiveness for the thing I had just said ant to explain that I didn’t really mean it” if only Kincaid had apologized to her mother. Maybe they could of rebuild their relationship or at least build up respect for one another. After an argument nothing starts a healthier convocation than saying am sorry.